Memories Are a Funny Thing

I haven’t written since my fall race that wasn’t. Honestly, I was so embarassed by my failure that I just kept procrastinating. Then, well, life as we know it ceased to exist, and almost every race was canceled. I really didn’t feel like I had much to say.

But today this pic from 2 years ago popped up in my FB memories.

Pig 2018

This was from my first full marathon, 2 years ago. Like a lot of us, I’ve been very down and anxious during this quarantine, and seeing this photo made me smile. So I clicked into the “Memories” section on FB to look at other posts from that day, and lo and behold, I’m scrolling through and I find this.


This was me, four years ago today, after surgery for a torn meniscus in my left knee. (My “trick knee” as I call it.) At that point, I had been running with Tri-State Running Company for 2 years, and I had fallen in love with running. I had also gone through a painful estrangment from two of my best friends, for reasons that were completely and totally my fault. I have suffered from anxiety my entire life, and running was one of the few things that helped me. I was terrified I would never be able to do it again.

And it way, I wasn’t. I was never fast to begin with. My pace was usually 10:30-11:30, and my PR for a half was 2:13:41 (10:12 minute miles.) I can’t run like anymore. Now I’m a run/walker. I will never PR again. And that’s ok.

Because a funny thing happened when I started running again. I ended up in the run/walk pace group and finally found my tribe. I met a group of women, my fellow “turtles” who become amazing friends. We’ve run, drank, laughed and traveled together. And even during quarantine we talk nearly daily. I am blessed to have them in my life. I’ll trade a PR for that 1000 times over.

Now, anyone who knows me, knows I am a cynic, and optimism does not come naturally to me. But I’m putting this out there to give encouragement to anyone who needs it. Things do get better. Maybe they won’t be exactly as they were before, but you’ll get through it.  Keep running, no matter how fast you go!


Author: lauradixoncaldwell

I am a runner, librarian, and mom to three furkids. I like reading, writing, going to comic and horror cons, and eating too much at Mexican restaurants.

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